Well, as you already know, I'm Deid. I'm touched that you want to know more about me beyond what's on the front page. Honestly, I have difficulties talking about myself at times, because I often feel equal parts willing to share and wanting to keep to myself. It's hard to find that perfect spot that appeases both sides.

I was born in Wisconsin at the start of the 1990s, where I spent my entire life until my 30s. My childhood was a little different, as I grew up in a highly agricultural environment. My family sold the produce we grew on-site, so our home and shop were connected. Despite plenty of people coming and going, we lived in the countryside and I had what felt like all of the outdoors as my backyard. The memories I have of playing out among the trees, far enough from anything remotely resembling civilization and totally surrounded by nature, are some of my most treasured. Especially as I haven't lived in such an environment since my childhood, and miss it dearly.

Having two siblings older than me, plus being in a family that survived on hand-me-downs, I grew up in something of a cultural time warp between the '80s and '90s. This was most prominent with video games, which both of my siblings loved playing. I experienced these games through watching them play, as I didn't actually play much myself as a kid. But that didn't stop my love of them from taking me by an iron hold. Games like Final Fantasy VI and Secret of Mana catered so well to my love of fantasy, so it was like a match made in heaven.

Being in a small town in the '90s, we didn't have much exposure to the slowly rising popularity of anime and video games. We didn't have cable TV, so any of those midday or late night anime blocks were little more than a dream to me. The only way I learned about anime was between a friend giving me a Sailor Moon doll for my birthday, and then my dad renting My Neighbor Totoro for my sister and I from the video rental store. I was enamored with their art styles and had to know more.

At the end of the '90s, my parents went their own ways. Fortunately they weren't hostile to one another, and just realized that they had fallen out of love and wanted to remain friends. My sister and I moved out with my mom, who ended up moving us an hour away to the city. Though my parents' separation was heartbreaking, it also led to some of the greatest changes of my life that shaped me into who I am now. In the city, I met even more people like me, was able to more easily indulge in my new interests, and formed new world views that I still carry today.

Life took me beyond that city in my adolescence and back into a small town environment when my mom fell in love with another. What followed were fewer days that I pine for as there are that I wish to forget. A social anxiety disorder that began developing not long after my parents separated was taking off into something that no one in that community knew how to properly handle. Not to mention some of the worst bullying I'd ever experienced. I withdrew into myself, my grades suffered, and my entire time in high school was a steady decline that I just barely graduated from.

My greatest comforts during this time of my life were creative outlets (writing, art, singing), a couple of close friends both online and offline, video games, and anime. I also couldn't wait for the weekends or seasonal breaks when I could go visit my dad and brother, as there I could be surrounded by quiet nature again.

By the time I graduated high school, the social anxiety had fallen into full swing. I spent an age at its mercy, only able to start coming back from it in recent years. My 20s were a time of struggle in the aftermath of misunderstood and mishandled troubles in my adolescence. But my 30s have been a time of progress and self-discovery, which have enriched my life. I'm still dealing with the ghosts of my past, but I'm happier now than I've ever been. Or, at least since I was a child with barely a care in her life.

Favorites | Elves ♥ Vampires ♥ Writing ♥ Reading ♥ Drawing ♥ Singing ♥ Nature ♥ Roses ♥ Lilacs ♥ Trees ♥ Mycellium ♥ Petting moss ♥ Animals (esp. Birds) ♥ Dungeon Synth ♥ Antique Malls ♥ Bookstores ♥ Renfaires ♥ Autumn ♥ Halloween ♥ Jigsaw Puzzles ♥ Takarazuka ♥ Femboys ♥ Women who could snap me like a twig ♥ Victorian Era ♥ Belle Époque ♥ High Fantasy ♥ Old Video and Computer Games ♥ 80s/90s Fantasy Anime Style ♥ PC-98 Fantasy Eroge (it's complicated...)